A wait-and-see situation again, not very hopeful from the way I see things. Time heals all wounds. That's what everyone says. But in reality, it merely forms layers and layers of protection above old wounds. Just a stupid incident, or words, or a simple misunderstanding is enough to rip away those layers and reveal that large ugly gash. All those happy days come collapsing. It's back to freaking. Square. One. Again.

This has been on my mind for quite some time. What does a healthy relationship consist of? Is it the way two people give love and trust to each other regardless of how bleak things seem to be, being there regardless of each other's insecurities and fears and troubles without running away or being angry and upset? Telling each other everything is fine just as long as they are together. Or is it the way two people trust each other to be there no matter how tiring life is or how bad their arguments are?

Can compromise solve everything? I don't know. Maybe I'll never know. I don't like to deal with this, but I have to embrace everything that comes with love. Happiness, unhappiness, anger. Harsh words which make you feel like you have been trusting the wrong person.

Before I drifted off to sleep last night I thought of our happy times. It is heartwarming. And those are times when I thought is it even possible to be that happy? Those were rare and I wanted time to stop there and then. For my life to stop then because it is enough. The way I felt was enough. And that soon came with equal parts fear, that it will be thwarted by this. The Unhappy Past.