I always find it hard to memorise a tune, because the notes once played, evaporate into the air and vanish into nothing.

Bursting

This is one of the moments where there is too much noise inside and outside my head and my head is spinning and I cannot hear myself think; there is too much information to grasp too many things to do too many choices to make that all I want to do right now is to shut everyone out and live inside my own head

I like Friday nights. They are filled with anticipation and possibilities and most importantly they are not clouded by regret. I feel eager to get to tomorrow.

An old, recurring thought: close your eyes and you get infinity.

It's amazing how the telephone numbers and the names that become a jumbled mess of numbers and letters in my eyes actually mean something to someone out there.

If only

Happiness for sale

Love Taught Me To Drink

Decided

Yesterday: NTU & NUS Open House, seeing familiar faces, failed quotas (disappointing), PGPR for lunch, visiting exhibitions, LX's cool army specs, Munchie Monkeys (!), falling asleep during origami session at MM, running through the rain, M's present, Kenny Rogers, yakking with J for more than 12 hours.

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Quote of the day: Everyone ends up as a banker - LX

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I think I may watch EOE from next week onwards, DC and YR are finally together!

L

Had dinner with EKC today. Our L reunion, at long last. ^^

Today I felt better, because The Mother is finally on my side. I will win this battle. By the way, Telephone MV is out but I cannot watch it. Mio connection sucks and nobody should use it.

Escapade

Today I was forced to face all my problems. There is no running away. All along I was being a coward. My world has been turned upside down; I don’t know what to do. The Mother has jumped ship, I cannot believe she would do that to me. I spent an hour sitting in the park talking to J, thinking through life, being immersed in the dark. I love sitting in the dark, or being out at night. Nightfall brings with it nostalgia, regret for what could have been, expectations for what is to come.

I hate it when people usually expect so much from me and just at the point when I need them to trust and believe in me, they usually don’t. People disappoint.

Everyone has been forcing me to quit my job and concentrate on piano. There is no way. What right do they have to make decisions for me? I always equate working with freedom. If I lose my job, I lose my freedom. Money represents freedom, working represents freedom. I feel trapped, I feel as though I can never get freedom no matter how hard I try. I want exposure; I want to be a different person. I don’t want to be a sheltered person. I don’t want to be the person I used to be. I didn’t like her.

I’m very incoherent now. I have lots to thing about. TY J for lending me your support and answering my calls. (Not everyone I know answers their phone ha-ha)

I’m going to be firm this time.

Over

Am going to do Chemistry. But where?

K for yesterday and today and tomorrow. Yesterday was my last day of work at Starhub - definitely going to miss the people and the food, but not the job. No more rude and irritating Singaporeans demanding what they think they can easily get, but what we cannot give. The government should seriously rethink the entire education system. Maybe more emphasis on social grace?

The past two months have taught me a lot. I want to believe that I have grown up, even a little will do. ECK said that we will all move on with life and forget each other, but I do hope that we will keep in touch.