Some people just surprise me, even after so long

Where is the old me?

I feel like I no longer know myself.
Tomorrow will be the true test.

JYH

Jung Yong Hwa is the latest craze

*

I need to do more than just lying around at home with my eyes fixed on the computer screen the entire day, or going outside and wasting money. I'm too reluctant to start piano again, and I have to get my lazy ass up to sign up for drums lessons at Yamaha. Maybe I'll get a job next week if the interview's a success. But I'm currently satisfied doing what I do best - nothing.

Free Shot

Clarke Quay, one shot of margarita, corona extra, walking around while getting shocked by the ex prices, ang mohs, dangerous waiters, the night breeze, Jap ice-cream, long ride home

Late night ice-cream fix with bro : D

I was packing my room earlier in the afternoon, and this is what I had found:

1. My unpacked schoolbag, with the GC and normal calculator, lozenges and a dozen of things which I doubt I need anymore
2. My TA2 Bio/Chem and Chinese file, which is filled with failed assignments, ting xie which I probably copied from Jean/Melanie and passed with flying colours (ha) and um, incomprehensible words - this reminded me of that time when all of us were having one of our rare lunches together, and the Jin Peng Xi Shou incident
3. That I had missed TA2, and will continue to do so
4. My sec 1 file, timetable, and the stupid picture that I took with LK and Nuts
5. Along with a bunch of council stuff from the time when Juliana and Matthew were ruling
6. Nicole's lit file (sorry, but you prolly won't need this in HCJC)
7. Melanie's I'm A Cyborg, But It's Okay OOPS
8. A note containing our memories during the first few days from the first time M and I went JP last June
9. Postcards from J and it just hit me how many dozens of postcards you had written me throughout our years in TJ/BJ TY!
10. Memories memories memories

*

Goodbye GG until March!

I want your love and I want your revenge you and me we could write a bad romance Caught in a bad romance Rar rar rar rar rar

Most things break, including hearts. The lessons of life amount not to wisdom, but to scar tissue and callus.

Love love love Chuck Bass, but I do hate the fact that EW is nothing like him in real life! :OO

I hope C and B are not breaking up anytime soon. I can't seem to get enough of them.
Long hiatus until March! No no no no no.

Everything's flying past just like that: A's, the KL trip, prom (which we have been anticipating since July?). Soon the year will be over and we'll all start over in the next phase of life.

Prom is, well, disappointing. I expected more, magical? Memorable? Like Jean said, prom is overrated and I guess we put too many expectations on it. There was nothing much besides taking pictures with people I don't normally talk to and with each other, and eating over-priced food.

GG is like a drug. I'm getting addicted again again again.
"You're my brand of heroin."

Today has been hectic; running around in school trying to escape disciplinary actions (as always), k k k , and a long bus ride home in the dark. There's too much Gee today, I'm trying to rid it from my head by looping Without You and other songs which I recently rediscovered, but the mind is a terrible, scary thing. It's scarily unpredictable.

I realised that if you focus on something hard enough, everything else will fade into the background.

Definitely not prepared to leave my comfort zone. I do not like the thought of spending an extended period of time with people I do not particularly like or am barely acquainted with.

There was no camera good enough to capture the beauty of the pattern the rain made.

LaChaTa is running in my head, and it's been almost a week since I last heard it!

All my papers feel screwed, maybe I shall take nursing next year..

My aunt bought rice crackers from jp for me! I feel so touched. Have the rabbits to thank for that.

New additions to the family this week (but only for a week though)! I'm starting to be quite alright with furry mammals, just as long as they don't bite. Ha-ha.

The past week has been eventful, um, including cutlery falling on me. Well, it couldn't get any worse. O is becoming better, no more of those Warren Buffet nonsense. People are becoming invisible.

Today Melanie said: I will eat shit after A's.

I'm feeling so guilty and tired now.
I'm feeling so guilty and tired now.
I'm feeling so guilty and tired now.

Today will be the last day of freedom.

I'm supposed to be studying bio now but I just saw the third season of Gossip Girl on the papers 'chuck and blair madly in love and adjusting to their new in-a-relationship status' I know I should never have opened the papers

The Aftermath

Moments like this will make you realise you're on your own. I'm sure everyone would rather mug for their prelims than lIsten to me ramble on about... It's coming in four days and yet I'm wasting time on.. This. It's no use crying over spilled milk, and I have to stay strong in order to get away from everything and everyone. After all, what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.

I don't know what I'm doing these days. I feel... More dead than alive, maybe. Studying? I would be floating on air, wishing I was somewhere else. Focused? Light years from it. Motivated? A thing of the past. Maybe this is the consequence of having dreams that were long dead. Wait, maybe those weren't even in my possession in the first place.

Oh, and happy birthday a month early.

You never thought you will end up here

I don't know why people expect me to stay the same after so many years. I think that humans traded their intelligence for the ability to feel. Feeling the breeze makes me happy. Voices irritate me. Complex emotions. Companionable silence.

Collision Time

This has been a weird week. I seem to be meeting all sorts of people from the past.

Something I should have done long ago

Now:
敗犬女王
Absolute Boyfriend
Project Runway S5
Gossip Girl S5(can't believe I'm leaving this hanging)
Silver Chamber Of Sorrows

Got to kick this habit and stop craving for 90210!!!

Asterisks

Main Entry:

¹as·ter·isk

Pronunciation:

\ˈas-tə-ˌrisk, especially in plural also ÷-ˌrik\

Function:

noun

Etymology:

Middle English, astarisc, from Late Latin asteriscus, from Greek asteriskos, literally, little star, diminutive of aster-, astēr

Date:

14th century

: the character * used in printing or writing as a reference mark, as an indication of the omission of letters or words, to denote a hypothetical or unattested linguistic form, or for various arbitrary meanings

— as·ter·isk·less \-ləs\ adjective

*

It is hardly surprising that they came from stars.

Tomorrow's the last day of term: no pessimistic thoughts now.

Time to return to where I came from /////////////////

Fireworks

*

Days have been flying past in a blur. Soon it will be December and I would be questioning, where have the days flown to? I was watching a documentary on death and dying last night and thinking, if I were to die tomorrow, I would definitely regret doing something I hate for all the days leading up to the day I die.

Identity

"That is why she dislikes dreams: they impose an unacceptable equivalence among the various periods of the same life; a levelling contemporaneity of everything a person has ever experienced; they discredit the present by denying its privileged status."

I don't care if I have a sore throat but,

The whole six hours was totally worth it. Another six would be better though. The waiting, the anticipation prior, the endless discussions, the mad rushing, 1for1 lunch, ice-cream, waiting, more waiting, stupid shirts, screaming, sore throats, laughs, more screaming, too many songs, too many pages, cheating the k of five minutes (!).

*

24/02

"We're walking in a wide tunnel, the dim lights casting a weak orange glow around us. Your breath turns a misty white against the cold wind. On the other side of the tunnel, the sparsely occupied land stretches before us, a sure sign that infinity exists. In the distance, shop signs flicker like stars in the sky. Christmas decorations adorn our sides, as we walk against the cold. I can hear our laughter, i feel our scarves flying behind us, in no hurry to catch up."

*

I feel oddly comforted by the influx of mails in my inbox.

Close your eyes

I was re-reading some posts and transporting myself to two and a half months back when all the what-ifs and had-I-nots are beginning to surface. Cherish, regrets, lies?

It's so scary that you cannot keep the memories of tastes and smells with you. It's even scarier that once you lose them, you'll never get it back. All you need is a trigger, but where do you find it?

Away, away, away

I seem to be living a lie these days. Everything seems fake and well, fake.

*

Finally got my Calpis Water after an awfullllllllllllll day out. School's killing any of my good moods (if there are any left) and I wonder what's the correlation between happiness and satisfaction.

The Trip Home

She doesn't recognise half the songs on her playlist. She hates people who makes skin contact with her on the crowded bus (but she can't help it, nor can she prevent it). She appears to be physically present, but she's a million miles away. She swears to take the train every Thursday. A stranger glances her way, only to see a tired teenager rather than someone who feels sad as she realises that she doesn't recognise her name anymore.

Nostalgia (?)

I think back and wonder why time has never stopped at the correct moment.

Just Impolite

Are you frightened, by neglection?
Am I who you want to see yourself to be?

*

There's this feeling of anticipation awaiting to be let out. Yet, it is suppressed by another emotion, one which is so overwhelming that you cannot block it out even though you have put your two hands out and tried to push it away. It stays, like a childish sticker stubbornly stuck to the floor.

Grandmother's Prophecies

When you pull a card and draw a heart,
You and your beloved will never part.

*

I just found the card I got at Dland,
in addition to Suica Card and 太鼓の達人 12 songlist.

Worth of items increased by memories.