Pain level 8

The tears came fast this morning, when I awoke suddenly from sleep and immediately thought of you - whom I could call up on insomniac nights and whom I thought of before I slept and after I woke. I guess I am still in denial, and feeling numb, except for the gaping hole where my heart used to be. Maybe this is the only way to save yourself, and you can do whatever makes you happy. I'm sorry you had to give up on us this way.