Despite everything that I've said about changing majors and me not being a science person, I actually like what I'm doing (though like is somewhat a fuzzy term to describe it and pales in comparison with passion and love and obsession). Over a year ago when I was studying for my prelims, I've come to realize that chemistry is something that I can like and bear and do everyday. It's a road that I've chosen when I could have chosen literature or journalism, and deep down, I probably know it myself that in the end I would have chosen it anyway. I've had a hundred doubts about it but as Janice has said in my birthday note, I should not harbour regrets and look forward and ignore my irritating thoughts about chemistry having no future for me.
Years ago, I have dreamt of becoming a writer or (ah, the absurdity) even a lawyer, but it was not writing that I like but rather the idea of putting dreams and images and colours into words that run perfectly together. But I lacked the ability to put the simplest thoughts into words so how could I be a good writer? I had always thought that I had no talent, since you could feel it in your bones and running through your blood if you had one. Doing that particular 'thing' would be as natural as breathing or eating. I suppose even if I had none I could still blend in with all the average people in the world.
This is a note to remind myself that should anything happen in the future, chemistry is something that I've chosen and loved and I should grit my teeth and carry on.
On a sidenote, I'm having this weird craving for koi cafe's ai-yu iced tea which I just had close to three hours ago-
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
(What's your name)
.jpg)
3 comments:
Oh wells. U are not the only one! How much I yearn to change course but decided to persevere, we shan't regret making choices we made!
SH you better work damn hard next sem to pull up your cap! yeahhhhhhhhh cannot give up chem kay!!
since you could feel it in your bones and running through your blood if you had one. Doing that particular 'thing' would be as natural as breathing or eating.
ah shit. that's just like me and performing. i hate trying to bury this dream of mine, but if i don't it hurts me not to pursue it. i was composing today, and i was happy for the first time in a long time.
Post a Comment